OUR STORY

Seventy years ago we went on a quest to find the best things in life. We traveled nowhere and sat around and smoked crack. After much arguing about who had the crack pipe last, and whether we should change the channel to shitbag or rottenvegetables, we came to an agreement on three things: Cheese, butts, and apeshit. But we decided not to do the apeshit part in our well-thought-out creation: CheeseButts. We started by pouring plaster into 10 gallon Home Depot buckets, and hiring a fat guy to sit down in each bucket, creating the general shape of a butt. Then, once the plaster was dry, we poured hot mozzarella cheese into each bucket (Which we now considered molds.) and let it dry up. Then we soaked the cheese in whey until it held up its shape, but at the same time, stayed moist and creamy like cheese should be. We tasted the yummy butt and were delighted! We think you will be too when you try these tasty delicacies. We make these available for all types of people with our full line-up being the packed-lunch size made of string cheese; And the full size made with a lovely mozzarella.